It is 6:15 Monday morning here in Utah. I am sitting in bed trying to get my thoughts down in an effort to organize them in my mind, and the word that comes rushing to the front is overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed with greif... I have never been through something like this. I have done some really hard things- but nothing that even scratches the surface of this. Yet at the same time I am overwhelmed with a sense of joy. I can safely say they have both coexsited in me the last few days... joy while watching Hunter, Jorden, Jacob, Hailey & Bryce begin to understand our beliefes in eternal families, in their pure excitment at a new game to play with each other, just in watching them interact with each other. a joy in watching the preisthood holders of our family gather together Friday night in my parents home to give Caleb Michael Tippetts a name and a blessing - the hope and joy associated in this moment was overwhelming. I was overwhelmed with joy in the service and love I have witnessed in this house over the last 10 days! Everytime we turn around someone is bringing amazing meals into this house, and there are a ton of people to feed here so making a meal is a serious undertaking. But people were clamering at the chance to serve. There has been the friends who have not left our side, helping to ensure all the decisions had been made, that the kids were being watched over (thanks Lexi), being a should to cry on and a hug to hold us up. There were the men who showed up Saturday morning to help get christmas lights taken care of, the neighbor who showed up to help replace the water heater that could not have choosen a worse week to quit working. The list of moments that have brought joy to my heart is endless. I am overwhelmed with hesitation as I prepare this morning to go home. Moments like this bring me a lot of anxiety about living away. Texas is our home... i know that and I am happy with our decision to make it our home, my heart just aches to be leaving and not have the daily interaction with my family. I am overwhelmed with the thought that Thanksgiving is in 3 days and I am still not home. No fear though I have made a list, it is just the need for a 36 hour day in order to get all the things on the list done. I am overwhelmed with excitment for Saturday. We need some time to just be away from reality. Bart and I will be boarding a cruise ship from San Juan to spend 7 days celebrating the fact that we have made it through the last 10 years!
Well here is to being overwhelmed today...
4 comments:
just make sure you let people take care of you... and you do your assignments! love!
Wow, that is a lot to be thinking about. It is wonderful to see how many people truly care and step in to help where they can. That is great that you were able to spend so much time with your family. Hopefully you are not stressing about Thanksgiving too much. Take it easy and get ready for a fabulous week with your hubby. Our cruise was the best thing we have done. You will enjoy it so much.
I felt so many of the same feelings you felt, the joy and sadness at the same time. I am so grateful for the knowledge that I will see my dad again. I don't know what I would do without that. I am glad you know that too.
Love ya!
Overwhelmed is just the right word.
I'm so glad that you are able to take this time with your hubby. Making it 10 years is so amazing and I hope you have a wonderful trip.
Erin, I sure have been thinking about you this week. It's times like this that make it really tough to live away from family. I'm so glad that you have a loving family to help you through this. You have reminded us all at how short and precious life is. And no matter how much we would like to believe we are in control, we just aren't. Cling to your testimony, and to your precious children. That is what will heal you the most. Lots of love!
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